You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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