Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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