So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
