Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
