No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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