I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Are we still banned from the library?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
