peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
