Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
