I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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