words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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