Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i think my mom watched the whole time
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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