the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
