It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
