i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
