NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
