Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
