Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
