she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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