just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
