Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
