i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
