You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize