Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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