I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
