I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
