Do you still have your period?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
And then he peed in my hair
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