woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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