why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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