Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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