my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize