Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize