Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
