AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
