i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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