Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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