Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
