You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
