shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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