I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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