JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she peed on how many people?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just gargled with NyQuil
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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