He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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