in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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