508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
