I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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