no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
