Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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