About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
