the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
