Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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