Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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