remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
