is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
