I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
