Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
