After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
