i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
