Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
