Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
A bitchslap is in order.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
