U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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