TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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