didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
