I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
