We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
