Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
