their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize