They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Bring me that man meat
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
