Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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