U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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