yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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