Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
