so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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