He had one of those small greek statue penises
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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