I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize