if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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