also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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